After writing about Dad it only seemed fitting to write another one focusing on the other half.
Two weeks ago Momma had a complete hysterectomy and I was almost a complete emotional wreck. I am a bundle of nerves when my loved ones go into surgery regardless if it's minor or major. It might also have something to do with going through heart surgery when I was 12 and I didn't have nice nurses... it was emotionally scarring and terrifying, but that's another story for another time.
SO. as a very belated Mother's Day tribute I can fully appreciate and reflect on all of those things Mom did for me that she can't do on her own or at all. It's not like I can't cook or do laundry... but it's like studying for a test. You KNOW all the answers, but when it comes time to take the test you freeze up. It's like you never read a single word. It was then that I fully appreciated what my mom does for us. She is truly the backbone because without her, things did not go as orderly or smoothly. Dad and I managed all right without her, but we still felt lost, like chickens with our heads cut off.
Don't ever take what your mother does for you for granted. Not even the small things. The small things usually go unnoticed, but they make the most impact in the most important areas. I especially realized this after all those little tasks fell to my responsibility rather suddenly. You don't realize just HOW MUCH time and effort goes into planning and running a household. You get used to a certain schedule and you just go with the flow. But, really, it is Mom who keeps that schedule in place. Even the small things....
Besides running a household, she is a huge emotional support. When Mom was in the hospital for two nights, I had to step up and take charge. I had some very large shoes to fill; and I know I didn't do things the way Momma would've done them, but I know I did my best and that was all that was expected of me. It was a highly stressful situation. I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, but, I also felt I was treated as a responsible adult, which was refreshing. I felt useful and it helped me deal with stress. I just wish it were under different circumstances. The emotional support Momma provides me is astoundingly significant. You don't realize a good thing until it's gone.
I also got to see what it would be like if Mom died before Dad. Dad is totally lost without Momma. He simply doesn't know how to function. I had to be his brain as well as mine and I felt like I had half a brain as it were. but I was glad I was able to provide direction to not only help him but help myself as well. It was hectic trying to remember to do everything and I wondered "how does Mom do this without a planner? She just juggles it all in her head?! That's insane. I'd go crazy! I feel on the verge of losing it as it is." And, yet, she does it every day seemingly effortlessly.
Thankfully all is well now and went quickly back to almost normal. Mom continues to heal and recover every day. She still has limitations but she is fully operational as an emotional support. She's amazing; kinda like a one-woman circus act because it took two of us to attempt what she does every day.
Momma has always been loving and supportive of me. She has been the background voice in my head scolding me or praising me even when she's not there. She's involved and interested in my life. She's my best friend, mentor, comforter, nurturer, cheerleader, teacher, and, most importantly, mother. I will never be able to express to her enough just how much I love and appreciate all she's done for me. Perhaps I will only begin to understand half the sacrifices she makes for me if I ever become a mom myself.
I love my momma to the moon and back.
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