After writing about Dad it only seemed fitting to write another one focusing on the other half.
Two weeks ago Momma had a complete hysterectomy and I was almost a complete emotional wreck. I am a bundle of nerves when my loved ones go into surgery regardless if it's minor or major. It might also have something to do with going through heart surgery when I was 12 and I didn't have nice nurses... it was emotionally scarring and terrifying, but that's another story for another time.
SO. as a very belated Mother's Day tribute I can fully appreciate and reflect on all of those things Mom did for me that she can't do on her own or at all. It's not like I can't cook or do laundry... but it's like studying for a test. You KNOW all the answers, but when it comes time to take the test you freeze up. It's like you never read a single word. It was then that I fully appreciated what my mom does for us. She is truly the backbone because without her, things did not go as orderly or smoothly. Dad and I managed all right without her, but we still felt lost, like chickens with our heads cut off.
Don't ever take what your mother does for you for granted. Not even the small things. The small things usually go unnoticed, but they make the most impact in the most important areas. I especially realized this after all those little tasks fell to my responsibility rather suddenly. You don't realize just HOW MUCH time and effort goes into planning and running a household. You get used to a certain schedule and you just go with the flow. But, really, it is Mom who keeps that schedule in place. Even the small things....
Besides running a household, she is a huge emotional support. When Mom was in the hospital for two nights, I had to step up and take charge. I had some very large shoes to fill; and I know I didn't do things the way Momma would've done them, but I know I did my best and that was all that was expected of me. It was a highly stressful situation. I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, but, I also felt I was treated as a responsible adult, which was refreshing. I felt useful and it helped me deal with stress. I just wish it were under different circumstances. The emotional support Momma provides me is astoundingly significant. You don't realize a good thing until it's gone.
I also got to see what it would be like if Mom died before Dad. Dad is totally lost without Momma. He simply doesn't know how to function. I had to be his brain as well as mine and I felt like I had half a brain as it were. but I was glad I was able to provide direction to not only help him but help myself as well. It was hectic trying to remember to do everything and I wondered "how does Mom do this without a planner? She just juggles it all in her head?! That's insane. I'd go crazy! I feel on the verge of losing it as it is." And, yet, she does it every day seemingly effortlessly.
Thankfully all is well now and went quickly back to almost normal. Mom continues to heal and recover every day. She still has limitations but she is fully operational as an emotional support. She's amazing; kinda like a one-woman circus act because it took two of us to attempt what she does every day.
Momma has always been loving and supportive of me. She has been the background voice in my head scolding me or praising me even when she's not there. She's involved and interested in my life. She's my best friend, mentor, comforter, nurturer, cheerleader, teacher, and, most importantly, mother. I will never be able to express to her enough just how much I love and appreciate all she's done for me. Perhaps I will only begin to understand half the sacrifices she makes for me if I ever become a mom myself.
I love my momma to the moon and back.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Monday, June 22, 2015
A Tribute to Fathers
It's been way too long since I've written. Don't worry I plan to catch you all up to date! But since it was Father's Day yesterday, I thought I should write about my dad.
I don't talk or write about my daddy often enough. We often butt heads and that's probably because we're so much alike. Most of the time our squabbles are over silly things; other times, we've misunderstood each other. Daddy is often oblivious to things around him; as well as he may very well be losing his hearing. If there's one thing I've learned from Daddy it's that when you're frustrated when someone is not paying attention, keep that frustration under wraps as much as possible and develop more patience. They are likely to respond positively.
Frustrations naturally come when you live with anyone. That's why it's so important to focus on the positive qualities of that person instead of the negative. Communication is also huge!! When you don't communicate well with a fellow housemate, tensions rise and perspectives are blown out of the water. That often happens with Dad and me; but we're working on it.
Daddy is a fighter. He's not perfect, but he has been such an excellent example to me to go against the norm. He was raised a Lutheran and converted to the Christian faith in his early 20s when he was in the service. When he met my mom, the only thing Momma knew about Daddy was that he was there when the church doors opened and when they closed. He is devoted to doing what is right and not afraid to admit when he's wrong. He's open to and dedicated to truth. His parents weren't happy with his decision and he had to deal with their reactions. He has trouble processing emotional pain and he lets things drag him down (partly the reason why he's in his own head too much). There are times he's so much in his own little world that he doesn't know what bothers him anymore. He's strong, but he thinks he has to bear the burden alone when he doesn't. He wants to see that I do what is right. He may not be the most fun, opening and affectionate of dads, but he gave me a moral compass with a rigid arrow. I give him credit for being true to himself.
He gives me stability and comfort just by being my dad. A lot of kids don't have that.
I was very much a Daddy's girl when I was little. He carried me on his shoulders when I was little, played hide and go seek, took me to the zoo and swimming, and read to me every night. He was also the one who tended to spoil me; Momma was always harder to convince. When I grew older he taught me how to shoot, gave me my first knife, gone walking and biking with me. Father/daughter time is a must to keep the relationship strong; and harder to find time when as I've grown older. But all relationships require effort from both parties.
Momma told me when I was a newborn, Daddy was afraid to hold me because he thought he might drop me. Momma tricked him into it anyway. He may not show it very much, but he has my best interests at heart. He wanted to "give a talking" to my ex boyfriend when he saw the emotional and physical toll it took on my health. I've never seen my dad want to stand up for me because it's not usually how he goes about handling conflict. Momma later told me this, privately. I sure wish I could've seen and heard it for myself!
Daddy may have his faults, but he's my daddy. I love him to pieces. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So here's to all you fathers: you are just as important in a family as a mother. Don't ever back down and give up on your kids. They want to know where the boundaries are and they want you to show them why they should respect you. Be interested and involved in your kid's lives. They need you even if they don't say it or show it. Families aren't the same without Dads.
Happy Father's Day; make the most of each moment and treasure the memories.
I don't talk or write about my daddy often enough. We often butt heads and that's probably because we're so much alike. Most of the time our squabbles are over silly things; other times, we've misunderstood each other. Daddy is often oblivious to things around him; as well as he may very well be losing his hearing. If there's one thing I've learned from Daddy it's that when you're frustrated when someone is not paying attention, keep that frustration under wraps as much as possible and develop more patience. They are likely to respond positively.
Frustrations naturally come when you live with anyone. That's why it's so important to focus on the positive qualities of that person instead of the negative. Communication is also huge!! When you don't communicate well with a fellow housemate, tensions rise and perspectives are blown out of the water. That often happens with Dad and me; but we're working on it.
Daddy is a fighter. He's not perfect, but he has been such an excellent example to me to go against the norm. He was raised a Lutheran and converted to the Christian faith in his early 20s when he was in the service. When he met my mom, the only thing Momma knew about Daddy was that he was there when the church doors opened and when they closed. He is devoted to doing what is right and not afraid to admit when he's wrong. He's open to and dedicated to truth. His parents weren't happy with his decision and he had to deal with their reactions. He has trouble processing emotional pain and he lets things drag him down (partly the reason why he's in his own head too much). There are times he's so much in his own little world that he doesn't know what bothers him anymore. He's strong, but he thinks he has to bear the burden alone when he doesn't. He wants to see that I do what is right. He may not be the most fun, opening and affectionate of dads, but he gave me a moral compass with a rigid arrow. I give him credit for being true to himself.
He gives me stability and comfort just by being my dad. A lot of kids don't have that.
I was very much a Daddy's girl when I was little. He carried me on his shoulders when I was little, played hide and go seek, took me to the zoo and swimming, and read to me every night. He was also the one who tended to spoil me; Momma was always harder to convince. When I grew older he taught me how to shoot, gave me my first knife, gone walking and biking with me. Father/daughter time is a must to keep the relationship strong; and harder to find time when as I've grown older. But all relationships require effort from both parties.
Momma told me when I was a newborn, Daddy was afraid to hold me because he thought he might drop me. Momma tricked him into it anyway. He may not show it very much, but he has my best interests at heart. He wanted to "give a talking" to my ex boyfriend when he saw the emotional and physical toll it took on my health. I've never seen my dad want to stand up for me because it's not usually how he goes about handling conflict. Momma later told me this, privately. I sure wish I could've seen and heard it for myself!
Daddy may have his faults, but he's my daddy. I love him to pieces. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So here's to all you fathers: you are just as important in a family as a mother. Don't ever back down and give up on your kids. They want to know where the boundaries are and they want you to show them why they should respect you. Be interested and involved in your kid's lives. They need you even if they don't say it or show it. Families aren't the same without Dads.
Happy Father's Day; make the most of each moment and treasure the memories.
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